I see you...

I have hesitated to write this. And to be honest I am not sure what I am even going to say. But in essence, if you have experienced trauma... I see you. I watched a documentary last night about Darrell Hammond. It was a powerful reminder of the impact of childhood trauma on a person's life. Even when they don't really remember it. Your body does.

It triggered me to remember two old events that still kinda shake me up. One was with a coworker. We were talking about 'stuff' and at one point she looked at me and it was as if her eyes said, "I see it. I see you". Out of no where I began to sob uncontrollably. I mean it was bad. Here's the thing. I have no clear memory of trauma but in that moment it was as if, 'She knows'.

Thank goodness she is a cool as a cucumber nurse but after a while she went into 'fix it' mode. The only thing she knew to do was tell me to fix my face before I went out into the hospital. She gave me a tube of bright red lipstick (I still have it!). Now, picture this: a woman who never wears make up emerges from the office with red swollen eyes, runny nose and bright red lips. I have never thought about this before but as I relate this I am cracking up.

It's good to laugh. But the other incident still haunts me. I was sitting in McDonald's with my family and a little girl of about 7 comes in with her family. I did not know her or her family. She made eye contact with me and in that minute there was a communication. An understanding. She was sad, hurting, needing help. I knew. And she knew I knew. It was a profound exchange. But I sat there not knowing what to do. And to my shame, I did nothing. I will never forget her face or that look. And I pray she is okay. She would be a grown woman now.

So please be kind to yourself and to others. Every person is fighting a battle known only to them. And sometimes they don't know the battle either.They just know they are hurting and feel broken. God has brought me great joy. He has healed a lot of hurts. And I am trusting Him even with the things I don't know. But as a therapist, I want you to know... I see you.

And when you need a laugh imagine my face coming out of the nurses office that day. Lucille Ball would have been proud!